Marry, Boff, Kill
by betweenraindrops
Summary: Some of the female Titans have gathered at the Tower for a slumber party and decide to play a rather hilarious party game. Oneshot. RobStar/BBRae/CyBee/JeriKole, pretty much a little bit of everybody, but more BBRae than anything else.


_Request from** jazzybizzle**! Well...more or less. She suggested a slumber party and...well, I ran with it!_

* * *

"I-I don't know," the petite, pink-haired girl muttered, her eyes flickering nervously around the group.

"Oh, come on, Kole," Bumblebee urged, shuffling closer to her. "It's not that hard. Marry/Boff/Kill: Cyborg, Jericho, and Speedy."

"I still do not fully understand the concept of this game," Starfire interjected, raising her hand unnecessarily. "Why would we wish to kill any of our friends? And what is this 'boff'?"

Raven, Bumblebee, and Argent sighed heavily, nobody wanting to field that particular question. The other two girls stared pointedly at Raven, however, and she knew it was going to be her responsibility.

"We're not actually going to kill any of them, Star," she patiently explained. "It's just for fun. Like, if you absolutely had to and those were your only three options."

"Ah, I see," Starfire murmured, although Raven doubted her sincerity. "And what is 'boff'?"

"Uhhhh," Raven strained, scanning the rest of the group for help, but they resolutely pursed their lips. "Boff means, um- Who you would…ya know…"

"Kiss?" Starfire speculated, and Raven sighed as the rest of the group burst into giggles.

"No, Star, it's…a little bit more than kissing," Raven said, stressing the words in hopes to convey the meaning without having to go into more detail.

To her relief, Starfire's eyes widened, her mouth forming a small circle.

"Oooooh," the redhead breathed, and then giggled as she blushed.

"So, anyway," Bumblebee interjected, impatiently turning back to Kole, "what's it gonna be?"

"Oh- Oh, I don't know!" she whined. "I feel awful ranking them like that, and while they're right here in the Tower with us too."

"Everyone's gonna have to do it," Argent urged, leaning across Starfire's circular bed. "You're just first."

"Really?" Kole asked, eyeing the group skeptically. "You're all going to go?"

They all nodded, although Raven notably less enthusiastically than the rest of them, including Starfire, who probably still didn't really know what was going on.

"Well…alright," Kole muttered, defeated, and Bumblebee beamed. "Marry Jericho, boff Cyborg, and kill Speedy," she said hastily, burying her face in her hands at the end as the girls roared with laughter.

"See, the marry Jericho I was expecting, but I thought for sure you'd boff Speedy over Cyborg," Argent mused, the words punctuated with chuckles.

"I considered it," Kole admitted, peering over the hands that still covered the lower half of her face, "but Speedy can be a bit…"

"Annoying? Arrogant? Stubborn?" Bumblebee suggested, and even Raven chuckled slightly.

"I was just gonna say annoying," Kole giggled, lowering her hands to her lap.

"Well then you were just at the tip of the iceberg," Bumblebee muttered, shaking her head disapprovingly, and the group laughed once again.

"Alright, your turn, Bumblebee," Argent said, turning toward the girl enthusiastically. "Marry/Boff/Kill: Speedy, Aqualad, and Beast Boy."

Raven, in spite of herself, felt a quick flame of possessiveness lick at the sides of her chest before quickly finding her inner peace. It would totally give her away if a light or something exploded, and the teasing would be unbearable.

"Aw, man, that is like the worst possible- Ugh!" Bumblebee sputtered, glaring at the pale, gothic girl. "Can't I just kill all of them?"

Everyone chuckled at that, and Raven was actually a little relieved.

"Alright," Bumblebee grumbled, her forehead furrowing in deep thought. "Marry Aqualad, boff Speedy, and kill Beast Boy," she answered finally, and Raven had to stop herself from immediately questioning the choice.

"Why would you kill Beast Boy!?" Starfire interjected, her eyes wide with alarm, and Raven felt a rush of gratitude toward her, not that she'd ever tell.

"Well, as annoying as Speedy is, Beast Boy is worse," Bumblebee answered with a grimace, and Raven chuckled along with everyone else.

There was only so much someone could reasonably defend Beast Boy. He was an acquired taste, that was for certain.

"He is not that intolerable," Starfire said softly, her forehead wrinkled with hesitation.

"Oh, really? You don't think so?" Bumblebee taunted, a wicked smirk on her face. "Well then, your turn! Marry/Boff/Kill: Beast Boy, Cyborg, and Robin."

Starfire's embarrassed and appalled expression was quite possibly the funniest thing Raven had ever seen, and she actually let out a small laugh.

"Well, I- I do not-"

"Oh, come on, Starfire," Kole prodded, scooting a few inches closer to the girl. "I had to do it!"

Starfire looked down at the girl's pleading expression, and Raven could practically see the resistance melting in her face.

"Oh, fine," she said hastily, blushing as she looked down at her lap. "I-I would marry-"

"Robin," everyone said in unison, and Starfire's eyes widened for a moment before she giggled and blushed even deeper.

"And I would…boff Beast Boy and kill Cyborg," she finished hurriedly, bending her head down into her lap as everyone burst into laughter.

"Really!?" Argent blurted incredulously.

"Yea," Raven said bitterly, shooting the girl beside her a sidelong glance. "Really?"

Starfire looked across at her apologetically. "I- It is merely that Cyborg is so- I simply cannot look at him in that regard," she explained breathlessly, her eyes pleading.

Raven smiled, releasing her of her unnecessary guilt, and Starfire smiled softly back.

"Argent?" Kole started, looking across at the girl, who immediately looked panicked. "Marry/Boff/Kill: Herald, Speedy, and Aqualad."

"Hmm," the dark-haired girl murmured, bringing her thumb up to her mouth and chewing lightly on the nail. "I would say…marry Herald, boff Speedy, and kill Aqualad."

"You would kill Aqualad over Speedy!?" Bumblebee said, aghast.

"Speedy's at least interesting," Argent answered with a shrug. "Aqualad is a little too…Zen for my taste."

"Well…okay, I suppose that makes sense. For you," Bumblebee allowed, giving Argent a pointed stare. "Alright, Raven, you're up!" Bumblebee continued, and Raven tried not to look rattled. "Marry/Boff/Kill: Cyborg, Beast Boy, and Robin."

Raven did not even need to look at the girl beside her to know Starfire was having the same reaction she'd had when Beast Boy's name had come up. She could feel the curious jealousy radiating off her, although Starfire seemed a little less snarly about it than Raven had felt.

"I-I suppose," Raven began, not sure if Starfire would like this more or less than the alternatives, "I would marry Cyborg, boff Beast Boy…and kill Robin."

"WHAT!?" Starfire bleated into her ear, and Raven winced at the volume. "Why ever would you kill Robin!?"

"Because," Raven sighed, turning toward her incredulous friend, "Robin is like a brother to me. Putting him in any of the other categories would be just… Eugh!" she said, physically shuddering. "If it wasn't for that, believe me, Beast Boy would be getting killed."

Starfire giggled, and Raven assumed that meant she was off the hook.

"You would marry Cyborg over Beast Boy?" Kole asked, her head tilting with curiosity. "Why? I thought you liked-" She cut off, her eyes widening as she obviously thought better of what she was about to say.

"Well, Beast Boy is such a child sometimes," Raven replied, ignoring the unfinished sentence. "Cyborg is much more reliable and responsible. He just seems like better husband material," she finished with a shrug.

"Beast Boy, no!"

"I AM TOO HUSBAND MATERIAL!"

Raven whipped around, having had her back to the door, to find Beast Boy charging into the room, Robin hot on his heels with an exasperated expression on his face.

"Oh snap," she heard Bumblebee muttered behind her, and fought the urge to turn and glare.

"And what do you mean I'm more annoying than Speedy?" Beast Boy challenged, and Raven was happy at least somebody was glaring at Bumblebee. "That narcissistic jerk is way more annoying than me!"

"Hey!" came a cry from the hall, and Speedy appeared in the doorway. "I am not narcissistic!" he snapped, jabbing a finger threateningly toward Beast Boy. "Dude, am I narcissistic?" he asked, directing the question back out into the hall.

"Oh, no. I'm not getting involved in this," Aqualad said, slowly entering the room with his hands raised at his shoulders. "I'm Zen, remember?" he added, giving Argent a small smile, and she, to her credit, did not even blush as she returned it.

"Why don't you come in too, Sparky?" Bumblebee taunted, folding her arms as she glared. "And bring the quiet one with ya."

Cyborg's head peeked out from behind the doorframe, a hesitant smile on his face. Chuckling nervously, he entered the room, a completely calm Jericho following behind him.

Jericho, winning the award for most surprising and endearing reaction, smiled and waved at the group of girls, and Raven felt their anger immediately soften toward him. That guy was good, she'd give him that.

"You were all out there the whole time?" Argent asked, obviously offended.

"Not _all_ of us," Robin grumbled, giving the rest of the guys a disapproving scowl.

"Oh, like you didn't join right in once we told you what was going on!" Speedy snapped.

"I couldn't get past!" Robin countered, his hands flying furiously. "You cackling idiots were blocking the hallway!"

"I can't believe you would just listen to us like that!" Bumblebee interjected, glaring harder at Cyborg than the rest of them. "Weren't you guys supposed to be playing video games or something?"

"We were," Speedy answered, "but then Beast Boy-"

"Oh, no! This was _not_ my idea! Not this one! No, siree!" Beast Boy interjected, shaking his head emphatically.

"What are you talking about!? You were totally-"

"ENOUGH!" Raven shouted, cutting Speedy off and rendering the room silent. She took a deep, calming breath, finding her center once again. "So the guys were spying. It's not the end of the world. It's not even all that original, actually," she added, giving Beast Boy a pointed glance. She was certain this was his fault, in spite of whatever he said.

"It's just a stupid game. Nothing to get worked up about," she continued, scanning the group. "So can we just get some pizza and forget about it?"

Everyone exchanged small, bitter glances before grumbling their resignation.

"Good," she said, smiling as she felt the atmosphere in the room lighten. "Now, let's go."

Slowly, the group filed out, some of the would-be couples exchanging uncomfortable smiles and blushes, while others fought in hushed snarls.

Rolling her eyes, she followed, finding that Beast Boy had lingered to walk out with her.

"You- You don't really think I'm…not 'husband material', do you?" he asked tentatively, looking across at her with trepidation.

She dropped her gaze to the floor momentarily and smiled. "We'll see," she replied, chuckling softly at his bemused expression as they headed down the hall.


End file.
